17/11/2022

Yokozuna wannabe

“You can achieve your goals if you set your mind to it”. Great. 

As I told weeks ago, I decided to be a Yokozuna after watching a sumo event in Japanese NHK TV channel. Fascinating! “Don’t let others limit your dreams”, bla, bla, you know. 

Note: Yokozuna is the highest rank in sumo. There have been only 73 Yokozunas.

Being that fat and winning battles sounded a good idea. My efforts to increase weight by eating mango sticky rice every day didn’t work. After a few days I was still far from my 200kg goal. Not talking about training (zero bananas, zero progress). To justify my 100% failure I have to say I didn’t do anything. It looks like setting your mind was not enough.

But… what if not everything is lost? What if I’m already a Yokozuna and I don’t know it? I was relieved. Still some hope.

I researched online for those kind of questions like “10 signs you could be in a toxic relationship” or so. I found this:

5 signs you could be a Yokozuna:

1. Your hair is black, bright and long.
2. There is a huge 20kg white rope around your belly.
3. You often go to sumo events, usually as fighter.
4. At some point you were promoted as a Yokozuna in a full of rituals ceremony.
5. Friends / other sumos call you “Hey Yokozuna”.

Since I don’t match point number 1, my goal to be a Yokozuna is over. Very sad.

But… can I still be the referee? His moves and clothes are amazing! That’s my new goal for 2022.




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