Sumo fan number one

Takana-san, 96 years old, was a die-hard sumo fan. He never missed an event, always sit in the front row, close enough to feel the sweat fly. His doctor had long warned him: 

“Takana-san, no smoking and definitely no sitting in the front row.”

One day there’s going to be a disaster.

And sure enough, that day came. Out of nowhere, a sumo wrestler lost his balance and toppled right onto Takana-san. Boom! Kaput. Instant flattening death.

But that didn’t stop him from keeping his dream. “If you push hard, nothing can stop your goals,” he remembered from some random motivational quote on the Internet. He had already bought season tickets, after all! So, with a newfound determination, our dear Takana-san picked himself up (or rather, peeled himself off the floor), a little flatter and definitely more 2D than before, and kept going to every sumo event. He was as happy again.

However, fate wasn’t done with him yet. Some time later, calamity struck again. This time, not one but two sumo wrestlers—400kg each—crashed down on our poor, flattened friend. Oh! Total annihilation. Double KO. 

And that was the end of Tanaka-san.

Yokozuna wannabe

“You can achieve your goals if you set your mind to it”. Great. 

As I told weeks ago, I decided to be a Yokozuna after watching a sumo event in Japanese NHK TV channel. Fascinating! “Don’t let others limit your dreams”, bla, bla, you know. 

Note: Yokozuna is the highest rank in sumo. There have been only 73 Yokozunas.

Being that fat and winning battles sounded a good idea. My efforts to increase weight by eating mango sticky rice every day didn’t work. After a few days I was still far from my 200kg goal. Not talking about training (zero bananas, zero progress). To justify my 100% failure I have to say I didn’t do anything. It looks like setting your mind was not enough.

But… what if not everything is lost? What if I’m already a Yokozuna and I don’t know it? I was relieved. Still some hope.

I researched online for those kind of questions like “10 signs you could be in a toxic relationship” or so. I found this:

5 signs you could be a Yokozuna:

1. Your hair is black, bright and long.
2. There is a huge 20kg white rope around your belly.
3. You often go to sumo events, usually as fighter.
4. At some point you were promoted as a Yokozuna in a full of rituals ceremony.
5. Friends / other sumos call you “Hey Yokozuna”.

Since I don’t match point number 1, my goal to be a Yokozuna is over. Very sad.

But… can I still be the referee? His moves and clothes are amazing! That’s my new goal for 2022.

Some huge things found recently

My new idol is Terunofuji. And now Yokozuna wannabe. How should I start? Is there any other Yokozuna by here to guide me? I've started to eat mango sticky rice if that helps to increase my weight x2.

Seiko Sumo beating

How can you check a mechanical watch's frecuency?
1. Take a hi-resulution photo with 1 second open sutther.
2. Count the number of tracks left by the needle in that time.
Uhmm... 21600 cicles per hour is ok, and it's so orange...